So last night went different then I expected, finally let my feelings out. At first I was being hurtful to the person I was telling them too and then it changed as we talked more. I'm tired of hurting myself for waiting for her to say to me I love you like I told her that day, and I'm tired hurting the both of us. I've never been more honest with her in my life not saying I've lied to her and haven't been completely honest, I have but this meant more then any other time. I think we both know where we stand and how things may be from now on. It hurts a bit, but knowing now that I need to move on stops some of the pain. I wish things could have worked out but they didn't. She will always be the same beautiful and interesting person I know who will hopefully be my best friend for a lifetime. I can be really thankful for that. I know it will be a task to move on and accept things, I know it's what needs to be done now. Maybe someday things will change and things may work. You never know until it happens. I'll still love her, I don't think that will ever change. She will be the first to make me feel what love really feels like, it's a wonderful feeling where you can't wait to talk to the person each day because that person just brightens your day and smile a millions times. And that it hurts when you fall to deep into love. I'm working my way out of it, it's not easy as it looks. I've cried a lot in the past few days, I believe I should be able to make it out alright. I will never stop being her best friend, she will never lose that title in my book. I would like to thank the few who listened to me long night, letting me poor my feelings out, cry on your shoulder when I need a shoulder. You guys know who you are, thanks I greatly appreciate it. For the first time in my life I barely slept the night before and woke up the next morning feeling like my life changed a lot when I slept. It's a good and a bad feeling, which I'll get over soon. And Fawn if you do read this, please don't ever change. Continue to be that amazing person you are; beautiful, smart, and funny. You'll still be the greatest thing that has happened to me, no matter what you do I will continue to follow you where ever any end of the world, being your best friend. Thank you so much for staying with me even when I thought I'd lose you when things got tough. No one has ever done that for me and I'm so grateful you have, so thanks so much and I love you for it.

As for anything else in this giant confession, I don't have much more to really say.

-Ashley

Hello again everyone, forgive me for not updating so much. I've been busy for the past while. College and dealing with life... I think I'm going to be writing more on here now. I've have had a difficult week personally and I think it might shape up here hopefully. I'll be gone for the weekend but I'll be back home Sunday as always. If you get bored you should check out "Nevermind the Buzz Cocks". It's pretty hilarious, British television show, and it has Noel Fielding on it from the Mighty Boosh. I really don't have anything else to really talk about. If I don't post again before the holiday. Have a good one and take care.

Love,
Ashley